60+ Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh and Brighten Your Day

Laughter truly is the best medicine. Funny quotes have a unique way of brightening your day and bringing a smile to your face.

Whether it’s a witty remark about daily life or a humorous take on personal quirks these quotes remind you to find joy in the little things.

Hilarious Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Quotes for Everyday Humor

• “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
• “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne
• “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
• “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
• “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

Quotes on Work and Stress

• “Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.” – Unknown
• “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
• “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson
• “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
• “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Unknown

Quotes about Family and Relationships

• “My wife and I were happy for twenty years – then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
• “Children really brighten up a household – they never turn the lights off.” – Ralph Bus
• “A baby’s laugh is an angel’s voice.” – Unknown
• “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
• “Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown

Quotes for Nerds and Geeks

• “There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.” – Unknown
• “I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.” – Unknown
• “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.” – Bill Gates
• “To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.” – Robert Orben
• “Age and glasses of wine should never be counted.” – Italian Proverb
• “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea

Famous Comedians on Humor

Humor breaks barriers, connects people, and makes life more enjoyable. Here are quote categories from legendary comedians to brighten your day.

Groucho Marx Quotes

• “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
• “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
• “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
• “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
• “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

George Carlin Quotes

• “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
• “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
• “The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
• “I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I complain about how they’re too tight.”
• “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

Robin Williams Quotes

• “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”
• “Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!'”
• “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”
• “Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”
• “Comedy is acting out optimism.”

Memorable Quotes From Stand-Up Shows

Eddie Murphy Quotes

• “The ice cream man is coming!”
• “You’re supposed to take care of each other. You’re supposed to take care of each other.”
• “My mother used to break wood on me.”
• “Where my single, unemployed bums at?”
• “Put a cherry on that!”

Chris Rock Quotes

• “I love being famous. It’s almost like being white, y’know?”
• “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
• “You don’t pay taxes; they take taxes.”
• “We got married because we thought it was time. Then we realized, it was about time…”
• “A man is only as faithful as his options.”

Hilarious Movie Quotes

Find joy and laughter in these iconic movie lines. Quotes from your favorite films can bring a smile to your face and lighten your day.

• “Here’s looking at you, kid.” – Casablanca (1942)
• “May the Force be with you.” – Star Wars (1977)
• “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” – The Godfather (1972)
• “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” – The Wizard of Oz (1939)
• “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” – Gone With the Wind (1939)
• “You can’t handle the truth!” – A Few Good Men (1992)
• “I’ll have what she’s having.” – When Harry Met Sally (1989)
• “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” – Jaws (1975)
• “I feel the need—the need for speed!” – Top Gun (1986)
• “Say ‘hello’ to my little friend!” – Scarface (1983)

Injecting humor into your life can be as simple as remembering a funny line from a beloved movie. Whether it’s a timeless classic or a modern hit, these quotes are sure to evoke laughter and brighten your day.

Everyday Humor Quotes

Everyday humor quotes capture the quirky, funny moments we encounter in our daily lives. They offer a lighthearted take on common experiences and situations.

Funny Quotes From Real Life

• “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
• “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
• “I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.” – Unknown
• “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Unknown
• “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.” – Unknown
• “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown
• “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Unknown
• “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.” – Unknown

Funny Quotes from Social Media

• “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Internet Meme
• “That awkward moment when you’re not sure if you have free time or if you’re just forgetting something.” – Unknown
• “Doing squats so my ass matches my sass.” – Instagram
• “Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.” – Unknown
• “I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.” – Internet Meme
• “Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.” – Unknown
• “I don’t sweat, I sparkle.” – Unknown
• “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” – Unknown
• “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Internet Meme
• “If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes.” – Unknown
• “I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.” – Unknown