50+ Funny Life After Divorce Quotes That Will Make You Smile Again
Life after divorce can feel like a roller coaster. One minute you’re up, the next you’re down, and sometimes it feels like you’re going in circles. But what if you could find a bit of humor in it all? What if there were little nuggets of wisdom wrapped in laughter that could help you see the lighter side of this tumultuous journey?
Well, you’re in luck! We’ve compiled a list of 50+ funny life after divorce quotes that are sure to put a smile back on your face. These quotes aren’t just humorous, they’re also filled with insights and truths about the ups and downs of life post-divorce. So brace yourself for a laughter ride that’s also a journey of self-discovery.
Understanding the Humour in Life After Divorce
After the emotional roller-coaster that divorce can often be, it’s time to find reasons to smile again. Let’s jump into the unique, and often overlooked, role that humor plays in life after divorce.
The Healing Power of Humor
Humor has a remarkable ability to heal, especially when you’re exploring the choppy waters of divorce. Laughter can be a balm to the soul, helping you to reduce stress, lighten your mood, and adjust to your new normal. After all, it’s often said that laughter is the best medicine.
- “My husband and I divorced over religious differences… He thought he was God, I didn’t.”
- “Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – Robin Williams
- “Marriage is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.”
- “I’m not getting divorced. I’m getting my husband recalled.”
The Role of Humor in Recovering from Divorce
Reveling in a laugh, even in times of personal struggle, has been shown to support recovery and resilience. Humor offers a fresh perspective and can provide deep insights, helping you regain your equilibrium after the upheaval of divorce.
- “Going through a divorce is like getting a Brazilian wax but over and over again for about three years.” – Jessi Klein
- “Divorce is the pits. But it’s also the ladder out of the pit.”
- “Divorce: a respite between idiocy and idiocy.”
- “Just divorced? The world is your oyster. Only instead of pearls, you’ll find Brussels sprouts.”
Funny Quotes About Life Post-Divorce
Below you’ll find a handpicked selection of humorous sayings that will tickle your funny bone and brighten your day. These quotes are designed to offer a refreshing perspective on life after divorce, aimed to encourage laughter and resilience during this often trying time.
- “My ex-husband was such a great housekeeper – after our divorce, he kept the house!”
- “Divorce is the pits. But I guess the pit is where you find the sweetest fruit!”
- “I used to miss my ex, but then I discovered the accuracy of a sniper rifle.”
- “Taking a trip down the aisle is appealing. Until you come back up the road seeking an annulment.”
- “I am tried and found guilty of loving myself more. Bail condition: No more crappy relationships!”
- “They should use aluminum to make the wedding rings, that’s how often most people seem to recycle their spouses!”
- “Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!”
- “A broken marriage is like a broken mirror. It’s better to leave it broken than cut yourself trying to fix it.”
- “I’d like to get remarried, but first I need to find a wife who’ll make me miserable. Only then can I truly appreciate being divorced.”
Remember, laughter can be an excellent way to help relieve stress. So, keep a good sense of humor.
Hilarious Quotes on Rediscovering Single Life After Divorce
Embrace the playful side of life after divorce. Here’s a list of insightful yet funny quotes aimed at lightening your mood and encouraging you to make the most of your newfound single life.
- “Being single after divorce is like being thrown into a gym after one yoga session! You’re flexible, but not exactly in shape for ‘the game’.”
- “Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?”
- “My next relationship will be as effortless and accidental as my divorce wasn’t.”
- “Everyone says you should taste the sweet life of singlehood. I’d focus on that if I wasn’t so busy enjoying the whole buffet!”
- “Are you asking if I’m single? Darling, I’m album!”
Funniest Quotes About Coping With Divorce
- “Divorce is the pits. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I would wish it on my ex-husband though.”
- “My ex and I had a religious divorce. I thought I was God, and she disagreed.”
- “You know you’re a certified adult when you’re more excited about not going out than about getting an invitation to go out.”
- “Taking a shower immediately after a divorce is just admitting that the best part of your day is over.”
Best Quotes to Laugh about Your Ex-Spouse
Laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to moving on from your ex. We’ve compiled a fantastic list of humorous lines that’ll help spark that laughter and brighten up your post-divorce journey.
- “My ex and I had a lot in common. For instance, neither of us is good at marriage.”
- “My ex asked me where I was moving. I said, ‘On.'”
- “I no longer miss my ex, but my aim is improving.”
- “Think of your ex as a knot in the beautiful world of your life. Clashing with everything else, but still part of the overall picture.”
- “My ex. Proof that I can make bad decisions, but also that I can rid myself of them.”
Entertaining Divorce Quotes Perfect for Social Media Share
We’ve curated some more fantastic, entertaining divorce quotes perfect for social media share – just in case you’re looking for that perfect mix of humor and relatability. We hope these words provoke a chuckle or two.
- “My next husband will be normal… Said every divorced woman ever.”
- “Divorce is the pits. But it’s a great weight loss program.”
- “Divorce: from ‘I do’ to ‘I’m done.'”
- “The only good thing I got from my last marriage was my wonderful children and a great recipe for chocolate cake.”
Uplifting Post-Divorce Quotes to Keep You Laughing
It’s time to put on a brave smile and charge through the wave of emotions post-divorce. Here, we continue our collection of inspirational and humorous quotes that remind you not to take life too seriously after all.
- “I’m not ready to remarry, but I’m ready for the free food at some wedding receptions.”
- “My ex taught me two things: what love is, and what it definitely isn’t.”
- “My post-divorce diet? Lots of ‘peas’: peace, prosperity, and plenty of positivity.”
- “Falling in love is like having a romantic dinner at sunset. Falling out of love is like realizing you ate a bad oyster.”
Rib-Tickling Quotes About Dating Again After Divorce
Venturing back into the dating world after divorce can be scary, daunting, and oh-so-witty, especially when humor is tossed into the mix. The following quotes perfectly capture the lighter side of post-divorce dating, reminding you to keep smiling and laughing, no matter how bumpy or bizarre the ride gets.
- “Dating after divorce is sort of like trampolining. It’s fun, exhilarating, but you never know when you’ll land flat on your face.”
- “Remember, dating is like driving after a divorce. You might stall here and there, but just shift gears and keep going.”
- “Dating again after a divorce is like being given a second chance at Russian roulette. This time, you’re more strategic.”
- “Post-divorce dating is just proof that no matter how old you get, you can still have awkward first kisses.”
- “Returning to dating after a divorce feels like being a contestant on ‘So You Think You Can Date?’ Spoiler: You can’t…at least at the beginning.”
Remaining Randomly Hilarious Divorce Quotes to Smile About
Get ready to continue your smile-a-thon because we’ve got even more hilarious and insightful quotes for you. So hold on to your hats and keep that sense of humor handy as we share some more gems to keep you chuckling.
- “Why do divorces cost so much? Because they’re worth it!” -Unknown
- “My spouse accused me of being immature. I told them to get out of my fort.” -Unknown
- “According to my divorce papers, I’m pretty good at everything except relationships.” -Unknown
- “I’m not losing a husband. I’m gaining closet space.” -Unknown
- “Divorce lawyer’s creed: To the victor go the spoils of alimony.” -Unknown
- “I’m not sure where I lost it, but somewhere along the way I found myself again.” -Unknown
- “If my spouse didn’t want me to take everything literally, they shouldn’t have put ‘everything’ in the settlement agreement.” -Unknown
- “Just when you think you’re over it, your ex coughs during your moment of silence on the radio.” -Unknown
- “I’ve been single so long, when someone says ‘who’s your other half?’ I look around for my missing leg.” -Unknown
- “Divorce is like algebra. You look at your X and wonder Y.” -Unknown
Finding Humor in Life After Divorce
It’s clear that laughter can be a lifeline during the whirlwind of post-divorce life. These 50+ funny quotes about life after divorce are not just a source of giggles but also a wellspring of wisdom and encouragement. They’ve shown you that humor can be a powerful ally, helping you navigate the choppy waters of change with a smile on your face.
The quotes have offered you a fresh, lighthearted perspective on the complexities of relationships, the challenges of being single, and the adventures of re-entering the dating world. They’ve reminded you that it’s okay to laugh at your past, embrace your present, and look forward to your future.
So, keep these quotes close to your heart. Let them serve as your reminders that even during life’s toughest transitions, there’s always room for a good laugh. Your journey through divorce may be tough, but with a dash of humor, you’ll find it easier to smile again.