25+ Funny Steve Martin Quotes to Make You Laugh
Steve Martin, the wild and crazy guy, has been tickling our funny bones for decades. Whether through his stand-up, movies, or books, he’s delivered countless quips that leave us in stitches.
But it’s his offbeat, often self-deprecating humor that really hits home and makes him a beloved figure in comedy.
Observations About Life and Its Quirks
Life’s a bizarre dance on a shaky stage. Steve Martin captures this beautifully with his sharp wit and unique perspective.
He’s got a knack for turning the mundane into the hilarious, and his humor often carries a surprising kernel of truth.
- “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
Simple truth with a twist. - “Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.”
Embrace the mess, it’s hilarious. - “I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”
Humble brag, Steve-style. - “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
Observation at its finest. - “Some people have a way with words, and other people… oh, uh, not have way.”
Sometimes, words just fail us. - “It’s easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.”
Advice with a side of irony. - “Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”
Steve’s comedic manifesto.
On Love, Relationships, and All That Mushy Stuff
Love can be a tangled web—a hodgepodge of emotions. Steve’s take on relationships ranges from the romantic to the downright absurd, with his quotes offering both a mirror and a magnifying glass to the comedic nuances of love.
- “Love is a promise delivered already broken.”
Cynical, yet oddly romantic. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Straightforward, no-nonsense preference. - “I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tongue?”
Feline affection gone wrong. - “Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
A slippery slope, indeed. - “You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”
A classic self-deprecation. - “I’ve loved women to a point where I’ve lost money, friends, and even my mind.”
Love’s got a hefty price tag. - “Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.”
Economics of love.
Reflections on Art and Creativity
Art and creativity are realms where chaos and beauty collide. Steve, being an artist himself, knows this rollercoaster ride well and shares his unique, sometimes absurd insights with aplomb.
- “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”
Harsh truth for the creative soul. - “Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”
An exercise in futility. - “I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”
A humble beginning, a grand journey. - “The banjo is such a happy instrument—you can’t play a sad song on the banjo. It always comes out so cheerful.”
The power of a plucky tune. - “Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.”
A passport to anywhere. - “Chaos in art is simply art.”
Embrace the beautiful mess. - “I have found that, just as in real life, imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.”
The muse’s compass.
The Peculiarities of Fame and Celebrity Life
Fame—an enigma wrapped in spotlights and red carpets. Steve’s satirical view of celebrity life reveals the absurdity behind the glitz and glam. His words portray the stark contrast between perception and reality.
- “Fame is like caviar. It’s good to have caviar, but not when you have it at every meal.”
Too much of a good thing can quickly become overwhelming. - “Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent.”
The double-edged sword of fame. - “I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.”
Irony at its peak. - “I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater.”
Extravagance meets humor. - “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
A darkly humorous accolade. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
A second look, new context. - “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
Fake life problems.
The Oddities of Age and Time
The march of time, with its complexities, is a playground for Steve’s humor. He ponders the inevitabilities with a keen eye and a playful heart, turning age into an amusing narrative.
- “The older I get, the better I used to be.”
Nostalgia with a twist. - “I like a woman with a future in the past.”
Timeless charm. - “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”
Wisdom’s costly toll. - “Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have his shoes.”
Sage advice with a pinch of deviousness. - “When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
A childhood lesson in divine intervention. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Old sayings, new meanings. - “I got a postcard from my gynecologist saying, ‘Did you forget your yearly checkup?’ No, but thanks for the reminder!”
Aging, the humorous saga.
Musings on the Absurdity of Human Nature
Humans are nothing if not complex and absurd. Steve dissects our quirks with the precision of a comedian, shedding light on our collective human folly while making us laugh at ourselves.
- “All I know is that I am not a Marxist.”
Political confusion, with a side of humor. - “There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.”
Universally relatable. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Third time’s a charm. - “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”
Stereotypes turned on their head. - “I’m not really a career person. I’m a gardener, basically.”
Life goals, Steve Martin-style. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
This joke never gets old, right? - “I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a blank piece of paper.”
Creativity’s humble origins.
Philosophical Whimsy and Existential Musings
Steve, the philosopher, explores the big questions with a comic lens. His existential inquiries often lead to absurd yet insightful revelations, proving that sometimes, laughter is the best way to ponder life’s mysteries.
- “I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you are an idiot.”
Art, ambition, and idiocy. - “The greatest thing you can ever learn is to love and be loved in return.”
A timeless truth, humorously delivered. - “I think I’ve discovered the secret of life—you just hang around until you get used to it.”
Life, in a nutshell. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Last but not least. - “A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.”
Vanity, thy name is fame. - “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
A repeat, for good measure. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
The finale of neck jokes.
The Charm of Self-Deprecation
Self-deprecation is a staple of Steve’s humor. He often pokes fun at himself, reminding us that humility and humor go hand in hand. His self-directed jokes are relatable and endearing, showcasing the art of not taking oneself too seriously.
- “I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life, but it turns out today is.”
Time and its tricks. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Just one more time! - “I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room. I want to be the most sophisticated.”
Sophistication, with a side of humor. - “I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”
Humble yet proud. - “I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal—high enough so you can look up her dress.”
Mischievous wisdom. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
The neck saga continues. - “I’m not really a career person. I’m a gardener, basically.”
Careers, simplified.
Revelations on Food and Epicurean Delights
Steve’s love for food translates into uproarious quotes that highlight our culinary obsessions. From pizza to peculiar eating habits, he serves up humor on a silver platter, reminding us that food is more than just sustenance—it’s a source of joy and laughter.
- “There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.”
Pizza therapy. - “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
Because pizza and money, obviously. - “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
One last encore. - “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
Language lessons, Steve-style. - “I believe that entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you are an idiot.”
Food, art, what’s the difference? - “I thought yoga was a joke until I pulled a muscle laughing.”
Health and humor. - “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”
Write, eat, repeat.
Steve Martin’s humor is a delightful mix of the absurd and the profound, a testament to his unique comedic voice.
His quotes remind us that laughter is a powerful tool—a way to navigate the complexities of life with a smile on our faces.
