70+ Funny Family Quotes to Strengthen Bonds

Family life is a rollercoaster of emotions, and sometimes the best way to navigate it is through humor. Funny family quotes capture the essence of those quirky, relatable moments that make family bonds so unique.

Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or a way to lighten up a family gathering, these quotes remind you that laughter truly is the best medicine.

Funny Family Quotes to Strengthen Bonds

Hilarious Parenting Quotes

• “Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you’re a referee.” —David Frost
• “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know, dear, ask your grandmother.” —Unknown
• “Parenthood: The scariest ‘hood’ you’ll ever go through.” —Unknown
• “90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.” —Unknown
• “I thought I was tired before I had kids. I had no idea.” —Unknown

Sibling Rivalry Quotes

• “Siblings: your only enemy you can’t live without.” —Unknown
• “Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know, whatever you do, they’ll still be there.” —Amy Li
• “Brothers and sisters can say things to one another that no one else can.” —Gregory E. Lang
• “Siblings: sworn rivals and reluctant allies for life.” —Unknown

Marriage Quotes

• “Marriage: when dating goes too far.” —Unknown
• “My husband thinks I’m crazy, but I’m not the one who married me.” —Unknown
• “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” —Unknown
• “Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner
• “Husband and wife: when ‘just friends’ isn’t enough.” —Unknown

Popular Types of Funny Family Quotes

Family relationships often offer a wealth of humor, encapsulated in many funny quotes. Below are various popular types, each bringing a unique perspective on family dynamics.

Quotes on Parenting and Children

• “Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.” — Paula Poundstone
• “If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” — Bette Davis
• “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” — Lane Olinghouse
• “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” — Sam Levenson
• “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and we don’t expect to get an award for it.” — Katey Sagal
• “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” — Erma Bombeck
• “Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot
• “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” — Ed Asner
• “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” — Phyllis Diller

Quotes About Married Life

• “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason
• “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” — Ruth Bell Graham
• “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” — Prince Philip
• “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” — Unknown
• “My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.” — Henry Youngman
• “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers
• “In my house, I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision-maker.” — Woody Allen
• “A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” — Unknown
• “The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” — Unknown

Quotes About Siblings

• “Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.” — Sam Levenson
• “Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet.” — Vietnamese Proverb
• “Siblings: Your only enemy you can’t live without.” — Unknown
• “We may look old and wise to the outside world. But to each other, we are still in junior school.” — Charlotte Gray
• “Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.” — Susan Scarf Merrell
• “What causes sibling rivalry? Having more than one kid.” — Tim Allen
• “Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.” — Lemony Snicket
• “Middle age is when your siblings’ photos are more updated than yours.” — Unknown

Quotes on Parenting and Children

• “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller
• “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
• “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
• “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse

Quotes on Married Life

• “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman
• “Marriage is a workshop…where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown
• “My husband thinks he’s the boss at home, but Ashley and Stacey, the cat, know better.” – Unknown
• “Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason
• “A good marriage is like a casserole—only those responsible for it really knows what goes in it.” – Unknown

Quotes on Sibling Relationships

• “Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.” – Marc Brown
• “Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.” – Unknown
• “You and I are sisters. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I stop laughing.” – Unknown
• “Having siblings means loving them without liking them and liking them without loving them.” – Unknown

Quotes on Family Relationships

• “Home is where WiFi connects automatically.” – Unknown
• “Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.” – Homer Simpson
• “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
• “Home: a place where pizza is always welcome and bedtime is negotiable.” – Unknown
• “Family: a little bit of crazy, a little bit of loud, and a whole lot of love.” – Unknown

Quotes on Parenting and Children

• “90% of parenting is yelling ‘What are you doing?’ from another room.” – Unknown
• “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.” – Unknown
• “Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.” – Ed Asner
• “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” – Leo J. Burke

Quotes on Married Life

• “Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers
• “My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
• “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” – Unknown
• “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

Quotes on Sibling Relationships

• “Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet.” – Vietnamese Proverb
• “Siblings: your only enemy you can’t live without.” – Unknown
• “Having a sibling is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.” – Amy Li
• “Brothers and sisters can say things to one another that no one else can.” – Gregory E. Lang

Quotes on General Family Humor

• “Family: a little bit of crazy, a little bit of loud, and a whole lot of love.” – Unknown
• “Family is like fudge—mostly sweet with a few nuts.” – Unknown
• “Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are.” – Unknown
• “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
• “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.” – Unknown

Final Thoughts

Funny family quotes aren’t just words; they’re powerful tools that bring joy and strengthen bonds. By incorporating humor into your daily life, you create a positive atmosphere and foster deeper connections with your loved ones.

Whether it’s a witty remark about parenting or a hilarious sibling joke, these quotes capture the essence of family life and create lasting memories.