45+ Funny Marriage Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Marriage is a journey filled with love, laughter, and a fair share of challenges. Sometimes, the best way to navigate its ups and downs is through humor.

Funny marriage quotes offer a lighthearted perspective that can bring a smile to your face, even on the toughest days. 

Quotes About Laughter Bonding Couples

  • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers
  • “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen
  • “Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason

The Role of Humor in Conflict Resolution

Humor defuses tension during conflicts. It eases communication and helps partners see issues from a different perspective. Couples using humor often find it easier to navigate disagreements.

  • “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – E. Joseph Cossman
  • “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” – Joseph Barth
  • “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
  • “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” – Unknown
  • “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.” – Unknown

Classic Quotes That Make You Chuckle

  • “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” — Groucho Marx
  • “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” — Michel de Montaigne
  • “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” — Winston Churchill
  • “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.” — Sigmund Freud
  • “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” — Henny Youngman

Marriage Quotes By Famous People

  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner
  • “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” — André Maurois
  • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell

How to Use Funny Marriage Quotes

Incorporating funny marriage quotes can add a touch of humor and relatability to any occasion. Whether in speeches or cards, these quotes can lighten the mood and bring smiles to everyone’s faces.

In Wedding Speeches

Wedding speeches benefit from the inclusion of funny marriage quotes. Injecting humor into your speech helps engage the audience and makes the moment memorable.


  • “Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.”
  • “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
  • “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.”

In Anniversary Cards

Anniversary cards benefit from funny marriage quotes as they celebrate the joy and humor found in long-term relationships. Personalized witty quotes add warmth and charm to your message.

  • “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.”
  • “We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”
  • “Love is being stupid together. Here’s to another year of being silly!”
  • “Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.”
  • “Happy anniversary! Let’s still love each other even when we’re old and wrinkly.”
  • “Here’s to another year of laughing until it hurts, crying until we’re exhausted, and loving each other every step of the way.”

Integrating these quotes into speeches and cards brings laughter and touches hearts, reflecting the true essence of a joyful marriage.

Classic Funny Marriage Quotes

  • “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” — Ogden Nash
  • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft
  • “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie

Quotes About Communication In Marriage

  • “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.” — Woody Allen
  • “My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she’s coming with me.” — Jon Bon Jovi
  • “A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.” — Gene Perret
  • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers

Quotes About The Everyday Realities Of Marriage

  • “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” — Anonymous
  • “I married for love, but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.” — Cameron Esposito
  • “A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.” — Dax Shepard
  • “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” — Lily Tomlin

Final Thoughts

A touch of humor can make a world of difference in your marriage. Funny marriage quotes not only bring laughter but also offer a unique way to express love and understanding.

Whether you’re looking to spice up a wedding speech or add a smile to an anniversary card these quotes can be a perfect choice.


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