25+ Funny Voltaire Quotes to Make You Laugh
Oh, Voltaire, the French Enlightenment writer who sprinkled humor all over his philosophical musings like sugar on fresh-baked croissants. Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Philosopher jokes? Really?” But trust me, this guy was the stand-up comedian of the 18th century.
His wit could cut deeper than a guillotine, and his one-liners are still as fresh as a daisy. So, let’s dive into the whimsical and uproarious world of Voltaire’s quotes, broken down into quirky categories that’ll leave you chuckling all day.
Life’s Peculiarities
- “God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”
Life’s divine comedy. - “The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”
Doctors: the ultimate jesters. - “Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
Keep on keepin’ on. - “It is better to risk saving a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one.”
Justice with a punchline. - “To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.”
Classy stupidity. - “Judgment is the ability to see the difference between a calculated risk and stupidity.”
Risk it for the biscuit. - “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”
Divine necessity.
Love and Relationships
Ah, love—the rollercoaster ride that makes us feel all the feels. Voltaire had a keen eye for the absurdity hidden in the folds of romance and human connection.
He dissected the enigma of love with the precision of a surgeon, and a hefty dose of humor, reminding us that even in matters of the heart, it’s best not to take ourselves too seriously.
- “Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.”
DIY romance. - “If you want to know who controls you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize.”
Power dynamics in love. - “The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing.”
Love’s never-ending mystery. - “When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.”
Money talks. - “The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.”
Keep ’em guessing. - “Love truth, and pardon error.”
Compassion, with a twist.
Philosophy and Wisdom
Voltaire wasn’t just about laughs; he was a heavy hitter in the realm of deep thoughts. Yet, he had this knack for wrapping his philosophical insights in humor, making them digestible and memorable.
He poked fun at the pretentiousness of intellectuals and shared wisdom with a wink and a nudge, ensuring we don’t forget the punchline.
- “Common sense is not so common.”
A rare commodity. - “Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.”
Embrace the unknown. - “All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.”
Born to wonder. - “The best is the enemy of the good.”
The perfect paradox. - “Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.”
Guilt in inaction. - “Man is free at the instant he wants to be.”
Freedom is a choice. - “Prejudices are what fools use for reason.”
The folly of prejudice.
Religion and God
Voltaire was quite the provocateur when it came to organized religion. With a razor-sharp tongue, he dissected religious dogmas and hypocrisies, often finding humor in sacred cows.
He wasn’t afraid to laugh in the face of divine authority, and in doing so, he invited us to question and contemplate the nature of belief itself.
- “In the beginning God created man in His own image, and man has been trying to repay the favor ever since.”
Divine mockery. - “God is always on the side of the big battalions.”
Might and right. - “Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.”
Faith in the irrational. - “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
The dark side of belief. - “The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.”
Infinite jest.
Politics and Power
Voltaire had a knack for skewering the powerful, calling out the absurdities and injustices entrenched in politics with his signature blend of sardonic humor.
His political quips are timeless, offering a chuckle and a critique of the machinations of power, making us think twice about the puppet masters pulling the strings.
- “It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.”
Dissent’s dangers. - “The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.”
Politics, served cold. - “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”
Freedom of speech. - “All is for the best, in the best of all possible worlds.”
Naïve optimism. - “The Holy Roman Empire is neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire.”
A trifecta of irony.
Human Nature
The human condition is a paradox wrapped in an enigma. Voltaire excelled at revealing the contradictions in our nature, often highlighting how our flaws and virtues coexist.
His humor in this realm is a gentle reminder of our shared humanity and the ridiculousness that often follows.
- “Men use thought only to justify their wrongdoings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts.”
The art of deceit. - “The superfluous is very necessary.”
Necessity in excess. - “It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.”
Love for one’s own chains. - “Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.”
Innovator’s curse. - “The more I read about human misery, the more I laugh.”
Tragicomedy of life.
Society and Culture
Voltaire’s observations on society are like holding a mirror up to our collective face, revealing the absurdities in our social constructs.
Whether poking fun at cultural norms or dissecting societal mores, he used humor as a tool to expose the often nonsensical nature of human customs.
- “Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.”
Missed opportunities. - “Society puts the blame on the victim.”
Victim shaming. - “We must cultivate our garden.”
Tend to your own space. - “The pursuit of what is true and the practice of what is good are the two most important objects of philosophy.”
Philosophy’s true aim. - “All the reasoning of men is not worth one sentiment of women.”
The power of emotion.
Money and Wealth
Money, money, money—a source of both dreams and nightmares. Voltaire had some sharp words about wealth and its influence on human behavior.
As a man who saw the corrosive effects of greed and the absurdity of the pursuit of riches, he mined these themes for comedic gold.
- “When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.”
The almighty dollar. - “The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.”
Wealth’s paradox. - “All the riches of the world are not of value in exchange for a virtuous friend.”
True wealth. - “Riches may be an excellent thing, for they represent the means of freedom.”
Money as a tool. - “Work keeps away three great evils: boredom, vice, and need.”
The virtue of labor.
Art and Literature
As a writer, Voltaire had a keen awareness of the power and pitfalls of literature and art. He took jabs at the pretensions of artists and the absurdities of literary criticism while also celebrating the transformative power of creativity. His insights into this world are a blend of reverence and irreverence.
- “Writing is the painting of the voice.”
Verbal artistry. - “Poetry is the music of the soul, and, above all, of great and feeling souls.”
Soul’s melody. - “The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.”
Reason’s grace. - “History is only the register of crimes and misfortunes.”
Cynic’s chronicle. - “One merit of poetry few persons will deny: it says more and in fewer words than prose.”
Brevity’s beauty.
Random Musings
In Voltaire’s world, even the most random observations could turn into profound insights. His ability to find humor in the mundane and the unexpected is a testament to his genius.
With these quotes, we glimpse the mind of a man who could see the world in a grain of sand and find humor in a drop of water.
- “One day everything will be well, that is our hope. Everything’s fine today, that’s our illusion.”
Hope’s illusion. - “Men argue, nature acts.”
Nature’s indifference. - “The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude.”
Solitude’s comfort. - “The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.”
Misfortune’s magnification. - “The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood.”
Mood management.
Voltaire’s wit transcends time, giving us permission to laugh at the absurdities of existence. His humor—sharp, insightful, and often laced with a touch of cynicism—reminds us that while life can be ridiculously trying, a good chuckle is never too far out of reach.
