When entering a relationship, there’s usually an unwritten contract between those involved to subject themselves to specific roles and obligations. When you’ve committed yourself to someone, you’re not only signing up as their lover, you’re also their personal therapist, best friend, nurse, chef, confidant, and sexual partner.
As a fixed air sign, Aquarius men are highly intelligent creatures who can be unpredictable. With their brilliant mind, they can either make the world a better place or manipulate their environment to suit their needs. If you want to know if your Aquarius man is using you, you need to tap into your inner guidance system and make an honest assessment of your relationship.
Given the complexities and nuances involved in relationships, it might be hard to gauge if your Aquarius man is using you unconsciously or in an overt way. This article will lay out some obvious signs that an Aquarius man is using you and give you some advice on how to deal with it.
Signs an Aquarius Man is Using You
1. You Don’t Have Deep & Meaningful Conversations
Although they’re widely regarded as detached, calculative, and pragmatic, Aquarius men are caring, generous, and open to those they love. When he’s into you, he’ll want to show off his intellect by engaging you in deep and meaningful conversations. He will also be enthusiastic about sharing his inner thoughts, dreams, and goals with you.
If you only have painfully banal, transactional, and superficial conversations with him, consider this a sign that an Aquarius man is using you. If you’re not comfortable with this type of relationship dynamic, you must confront your partner and honestly communicate your needs and desires.
2. He Gives You the Bare Minimum
Aquarius men are generally not selfish. In fact, they have huge hearts and are very charitable. But because they have tunnel vision toward their future, they don’t really prioritize their romantic relationships. When your Aquarius man is making a conscious effort to be stingy with his love and affection towards you, he’s letting you know that you shouldn’t expect anything from him.
Having an Aquarius man in your life can be a wonderful experience, but you shouldn’t compromise your sense of self-worth and settle for less than anything you deserve just to keep him in your life. While you really shouldn’t expect anything from anyone, being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make an effort to enrich your life will only leave you feeling miserable and worn out.
When an Aquarius man only gives you the bare minimum, this is a surefire sign that he’s only using you. If you’re reading this, chances are you already know this. Relationships can be a great learning experience, but at some point, you need to let the lesson sink in, learn to look after yourself, and choose the life that invigorates you.
3. He Only Hits You Up for Sex
One obvious sign that an Aquarius sign is using you is when he only hits you up for sex. Aquarians are generally good-natured people, but they don’t prioritize their social relationships because they have bigger fish to fry.
When your relationship with an Aquarius man is primarily sexual, it’s highly likely that he’s not thinking of committing to you in the long haul. If you’re the type of person who’s also busy chasing your dreams and the lifestyle you want, this might not be a cause for concern.
However, if you want a fulfilling and committed relationship, you should have to communicate clearly and honestly precisely what it is you want and expect from your Aquarius man. If he’s not willing to meet you halfway, do yourself a favor and walk away.
4. He Doesn’t Open Up to You
Because Aquarius men are notorious for being emotionally closed off and detached, it doesn’t come as a surprise when they don’t easily spill intimate details of their lives with you. It takes time to build up an Aquarius man’s trust.
If you’ve been dating an Aquarius man for a while and your conversations still don’t go beyond the superficial level, it’s possible that he’s keeping you at arm’s length because he has no intention of taking the relationship further. If he used to open up to you and suddenly stops, this might signify that he’s falling out of love and considering breaking things off with you.
5. He’s Not Interested In Your Life
Another warning sign that an Aquarius man is using you is when he seems indifferent about your life and preferences. Aquarius men have an insatiable curiosity. When an Aquarius man is in love, he’d want to know every detail of your life. He’ll ask about your goals, dreams, and favorite things so he can use this information to surprise you on special occasions.
If he doesn’t ask about your life, chances are he’s not interested in establishing a long-term relationship with you. People usually enter relationships because they want to be seen, loved, and cared for. If your Aquarius man is not giving you any of this, you need to be honest with yourself if this is the kind of relationship you’re willing to put up with.
6. He’s Cold & Distant
When an Aquarius man is using you, he will be cold and distant on the days that he doesn’t need you. If he doesn’t bother to check up on you or try to get to know you, take this as a sign that he’s not interested in having a relationship with you. If he is, he will let you know, and he will not make you feel that you’re just a booty call to him.
When you feel drained and dissatisfied after spending time with an Aquarius man, it’s probably your intuition telling you that this relationship is psychologically ill-suited for you. Remember that no matter how great he might seem to be, there are a ton of men who are just as amazing and a better match for you.
7. He’s Cranky
If your Aquarius man makes you feel like a nuisance, this is a clear sign that he doesn’t care about how his words and actions affect you. When a person has witnessed your problematic sides, it is often the case that they become increasingly irritated with everything you do and even lash out at you.
In relationships, people sometimes get too comfortable to the point that they feel safe being horrible around the person they love. If your partner is always snappy and cranky with you, you need to stand up for yourself and set healthy boundaries.
8. He’s Rude & Inconsiderate
One telltale sign that an Aquarius man is using you is when he’s uncharacteristically rude and inconsiderate with you. Even though they tend to be out of touch with their emotions, they still make an effort to empathize with other people. If an Aquarius man doesn’t filter out his dark side with you, he may be doing it to keep you at arm’s length.
9. He Takes You for Granted
If an Aquarius man doesn’t make an effort to make you feel special, this is a major red flag. If you find yourself growing resentful over being always the one who’s giving, compromising, and making an effort, this is a demand for better treatment from your higher self.
If your Aquarius man couldn’t care less about your needs, listen to your intuition and respect yourself enough to walk away when you’re not being treated right. Stop obsessing over a single person and downplaying your needs and desires to get someone to like you.
Being desperate can cloud your judgment. There are billions of men on the planet. Learn to let go of those who don’t see your value and open yourself to endless possibilities.
10. He Plays with Your Emotions
With their incredible wit and charm, some Aquarius men are infamous for being players. If your Aquarius man actively does things that he knows will trigger you and mess with your head, run. He may be a psychopath. When he acts like he doesn’t give a damn about you, believe him.
11. He Doesn’t Include You in His Circle
This should be obvious. If you’ve been seeing each other for a while and he still doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family, it means that he’s not interested in committing to you. Unless he’s a hermit and an orphan, you should take this as an evident sign that an Aquarius man is using you.
12. He Doesn’t Go Out with You in Public
Perhaps the most obvious sign that an Aquarius man is using you is when he doesn’t want to be seen with you in public. If an Aquarius man doesn’t invite you to go out on dates and introduce you to his circle, this is definitely a bad sign.
While it’s pretty common for Aquarians to keep their relationship private, refusing to be seen with you could be an indication that he’s already in a relationship or just doesn’t want to be associated with you. It might be a tough pill to swallow, but being in denial will only hurt you in the long run. You need to face the truth and move on.
13. He’s Selfish in bed
If an Aquarius man only thinks about his pleasure when you’re having sex, he’s likely using you. While all of us are entitled to our own sexual preferences, if your Aquarius man is making you feel like pleasuring you is a chore and disgusting, it’s time to stand up for yourself and stop tolerating bad behavior.
Relationships should be a haven for growth, exploration, and acceptance. If someone actively chooses to degrade your sense of self-worth, this person is no good for you. You need to walk away and find someone who will satisfy your needs.
15. He Asks You for Money
Another painfully obvious sign that an Aquarius man is using you is if he constantly asks you for money and turns you into his personal ATM. While it might be okay to borrow some money if he’s really strapped for cash, if it comes to a point where he’s financially dependent on you, it might be time to cut your losses and let him get his shit together.
16. He Doesn’t Show Up for You
When an Aquarius man is smitten, he will surely be there for you and support you in your endeavors. If he doesn’t show up for you and only comes when he needs something, this is clearly a sign that an Aquarius man is using you.
Take a step back from your emotions and objectively assess his behavior. If your friend is being treated this way, would you tolerate this kind of behavior? If not, then you know what you have to do.
17. He Doesn’t Make Long-Term Plans with You
Aquarius men have clear goals and visions for the future. They have big dreams for themselves, and they carefully curate a solid plan to attain these goals. If an Aquarius man wants to be with you in the long haul, he will let you know. He will secure a place for you in his future, and he will make sure that you know how much you mean to him.
On the other hand, if an Aquarius man is only using you, he will deflect and avoid talking about the future trajectory of your relationship.
18. He Ghosts You
Another red flag to look out for if you feel like an Aquarius man is using you is if he ghosts you. When an Aquarius man goes hot and cold or disappears for an extended period of time without giving you an explanation, it’s possible that he might be dealing with other issues, or he simply doesn’t give a fraction of shit about you.
Aquarius men are generally purpose-driven and career-oriented individuals. Because of this, it’s rare for them to prioritize romantic entanglements. Some even avoid it like the plague as they think it’ll only distract them from attaining their goals.
While it’s normal in relationships to mutually be of service to each other, some people simply like to take more than they’re willing to give. If you’ve found yourself in a situation where you feel like you’re the only one making an effort in the relationship and your partner is using only you as their sex doll, chauffeur, or personal ATM, then it’s best to let them go and cut your losses as soon as possible.