Being ghosted sucks. In case you’ve been living in a cave, ghosting is when someone abruptly cuts off communication with you without any closure and explanation. If you’ve been subjected to this kind of behavior, it can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and pissed off. With a mixture of pain, anger, and bruised ego, you might be wondering how you can make this guy regret ghosting you.
The simple answer is- don’t. Don’t give him any space in your mind. Don’t waste your time curating the perfect Instagram post to make a guy regret ghosting you. Don’t let him have any power over you. Instead, redirect your energy towards your goals. Do things that genuinely fill you up with joy and live your life as authentically as possible.
People ghost for various reasons. More often than not, it has something to do with their insecurities, inability to communicate, or plain cowardice. They could be dead for all you know. Sometimes, it’s simply because he’s not just into you. Nevertheless, don’t give him the satisfaction that he had any impact on you. Here are some tips on what you should do instead.
1. Live Your Best Life!
When you let yourself be vulnerable around a person, and they vanish from your life and drop off the face of Earth, it can drive you mad. You might be tempted to go ballistic, spew out hurtful comments, and even try to hunt them down.
Ghosting can shatter your self-esteem and make you question your worth, but you have to understand that it’s not about you. It’s about them. They lack the emotional maturity to have honest and compassionate communication. Or maybe this ghoster is a narcissist who lacks regard for other people’s feelings and thrives on making people feel like they’re not good enough for them.
Nonetheless, when someone decides to remove themselves from your life, let them go and move forward. You might be hurting right now, but they actually did you a favor. Now you don’t have to deal with someone who’s incapable of having hard conversations and who lacks empathy to consider how their actions affect other people.
So when someone like that walks out of your life, don’t reach out to them and demand an explanation. Don’t go seeking closure. No matter what their reason may be, the fact of the matter is that they’re gone. They’ve already made a decision to cowardly exit your life. Don’t give them any more of your mental energy. Shift your focus on living your best life and pushing towards your dreams.
Go on an epic adventure, start that project you’ve always dreamed of, reconnect with your friends. Do things that fulfill your soul. Don’t waste any second of your life trying make this guy regret ghosting you. Move forward and open yourself up to new opportunities and love.
2. Be Indifferent
You might be incredibly hurt and disappointed by the way this person chose to exit your life. You’re confused, heartbroken, angry, and sad all at the same time. When someone we thought we deeply connected with just leaves without any explanation, it can be deeply disorienting. The urge to act out and vomit all your frustrations is very strong, but you shouldn’t give in to it.
Instead of whittling away your time plotting a scheme to make a guy regret losing you, just focus on your life, nurture your relationships, and do the things that genuinely make you happy. He already wasted enough of your time. He doesn’t deserve any more of it.
It’s probably hard to see past the hurt right now. With all the anger, confusion, and pent-up emotions you’re harboring, doing nothing seems easier said than done. Your mind keeps replaying a seemingly endless loop of scenes that affirms your sense of worthlessness. You wish you could handle this without a bruised ego and a few cocktails, but he stomped on your heart like it meant nothing.
It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling right now. It doesn’t make you weak; it just makes you human. Feel all of it, then let it go. Don’t try to demonize him. Don’t post any lascivious photos of yourself on social media just to make him regret his behaviors. Do it for you. Do it because you’re genuinely confident about yourself regardless of anyone’s opinion.
Stop exerting too much energy on trying to make a guy regret ghosting you. He’s no longer in your life. That, in itself, is a great reward. There’s no need to do anything that will make him come crawling back to you. If he regretted it, what then? Do you even want this kind of person back in your life? Are you doing it out of spite? Is that the best use of your time?
This grudge and resentment serve no further purpose. Simply let it go. You don’t want your life to revolve around trying to make a perfectly curated social media page to get this cretin’s validation. You have to remember that yours is the only validation you need. Are you genuinely happy with the life you’re building, or are you merely doing it for a show? Do you like the person you’re becoming?
3. Focus on Your Growth
With the short amount of time you have on this planet, do you really want to waste it on a petty quest to make a guy regret ghosting you? It can be tempting to take the moral high ground and argue that your actions are justified because he did you wrong.
You can never control other people’s behavior. You can only control how you react. He had already left. It’s up to you if you want to be tethered in the past or start building the life of your dreams. Holding grudges and trying to make a guy regret ghosting you requires quite a lot of effort. Do you really want to trade your peace to elicit some kind of reaction from him?
If you still keep trying to seek out adoration and approval from anything outside of you, you’ll continue to suffer. If your life revolves around a person’s actions, whose life are you living? That other person might even be dealing with something you don’t know about, so don’t jump to conclusions. Take a deep breath and take yourself out of the situation.
Focus instead on your own growth. Grow your passion. Nurture your dreams. Whatever their reason, they’re gone. They choose to walk away. Now it’s up to you if you want to keep reliving the past, or are you finally going to show up for yourself?
4. Don’t Come Back to Him
Unless he has a legitimate reason, don’t give him another chance. Remember that he chose to walk away without any regard to how it would affect you. Remember the nights of tossing and turning, asking yourself what’s wrong with you and why did he treat you like you’re disposable. You don’t need this kind of immaturity and selfishness in your life. You don’t need him. You never did.
If a person who ghosted you tries to re-enter your life, remember how they left. Remember the insecurities, self-doubt, and trust issues that they’ve planted in your mind. Do you really want to subject yourself to that kind of pain again? Even if they claim that they’ve changed, your heart will always wonder when he’ll leave again.
Do you really want that to be your living reality? Do you want your peace to be disturbed so that someone who abandoned you to fight your battles alone can come back to your life? The choice is entirely up to you. Just remember, you deserve all the best things life has to offer.
5. Don’t Stir Up Drama
Sometimes no matter how hard you try not to, anger still plagues your mind. As much as you want to restore your self-esteem by badmouthing him on social media, it won’t do you any good. No matter how much you want to reach out to him and spew out hurtful words at him, don’t. Break your grip from the narrative and allow the universe to remove this kind of person from your life.
Don’t let this anger consume you. Instead, use it as fuel to take charge of your life and be the best version of yourself you can be. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time. Channel your anger towards something more productive, like a creative project. Let the feelings flow through you, acknowledge them, and simply let them go. Move forward with grace and shift your focus towards your goals.
6. Keep your Head Up
Don’t doubt yourself just because someone didn’t have the guts to have an honest conversation with you. Even if their reason for ghosting is because they’re not into you, it doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. Just because someone doesn’t see it in you doesn’t mean you’re any less worthy of love. Their perception of you is not any of your business.
If you let other people’s actions easily sway your emotions, you become their slave. Stop holding on to these feelings. They’re no longer serving you. Remember that his behavior towards you is not an objective assessment of your worth. It’s more of a reflection of his inability to communicate and empathize with other people.
Most ghosters are narcissists who thrive on stomping other people’s self-esteem. Don’t give him any power over you. Stop wasting time trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. Sure, you have flaws; we all do. That doesn’t make you any less deserving of respect.
Unsubscribe from the narrative that you’re not good enough just because someone ghosted you. Let go of the idea that your worth is contingent upon someone’s perception of you. You have the power to decide what thoughts you let play out in your mind. Choose wisely.
7. Inject More Adventures into Your Life
Being ghosted can take a massive hit on one’s ego. Even if you know deep down that it’s not about you, it still hangs heavy on your chest. But you don’t have to let your emotions steer you in a direction that’ll only send you on a depressive spiral.
Instead of succumbing to sadness and insecurity, take action. Whether it be towards your goals or some new venture, just move. Inject more adventures in your life and surround yourself with people who care about you. Return to yourself and be more present in your life. Before you know it, these painful memories will simply fall away.
So go out there, live your life, and go after your dreams. Don’t sit in your room and feed any more energy to your negative thoughts. Get up and do something. Get out of your comfort zone. Meet new people. Explore and soak up all the wonders of the world.
8. Love Yourself
Just because someone ghosted you doesn’t mean you’re hard to love. You may be feeling hurt because you gave so much of yourself to someone and yet didn’t respect you enough to be honest with you. You have to remember that someone’s inability to exit your life gracefully doesn’t mean that you’re any less worthy of respect, honesty, and love.
Stop letting any external circumstance dictate your value as a person. He had already left. Now’s not the time to leave yourself too. Remember that no one can abandon you but you. Love yourself enough to set yourself free from the victim narrative and take responsibility for your own happiness.
There are plenty of reasons why people ghost. Maybe they have other priorities, are committed to someone else, or are just not ready for a serious relationship. Whatever their reasons are, it doesn’t matter in the least. They’re already gone. There’s nothing you can do to change the past. Even if you could, do you really want that kind of person back in your life?
We live in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with plenty of options, and that includes our romantic life. When you have access to this unlimited pool of attractive human beings, it’s easy to walk away from someone and simply sift through your phone and find another prospect. While it’s okay to explore and live your life the way you want to, you should still at least have the decency, to be honest to the person you’re walking away from.
If you’ve been ghosted, instead of spending any more of your precious time plotting a scheme to make this person regret losing you, start doing things that you genuinely enjoy, shift your focus towards your goals, and add more adventures in your life.